Please Don’t Use Your PTSD As An Excuse Not to Wear a Mask

Hey. It’s been a while. Since the last time I posted, a global pandemic broke out. Never thought I’d be writing THAT! This pandemic has created a chain reaction of dumpsterfires across the country and globe–but let’s face it, mostly across the country, because we in the United States just really seem to not effin’ get it!

From addiction medicine being totally interrupted and janky, leading to heightened fatal overdoses, to parents and kids being kept from contacting each other, to teens being arrested for not doing homework, to blatant horrific exacerbation of racism on the part of like every kind of authority figure and even regular citizens, to widespread hunger and increased devastation among homeless communities, to sneaky destructive laws being passed under our noses, and so much more….it seems like 2020 is the actual end times.

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My Favorite Stories from 2019

Hello loves. I am so sorry 2019 has been so quiet. If you follow this blog, you know that I have been fighting to get my lovely daughters back in my custody after the deep injustice and trauma of their forced removal by the state of Florida. It has been an incredibly eye-opening year as I researched the child welfare system, especially the use of predictive analytics. I have yet to publish the final results from my fellowship with the National Council of Incarcerated and Formerly Incarcerated Women and Girls, but keep an eye out–it’s forthcoming sometime in 2020.

Since I didn’t post a lot in the blog this year, I want to end 2019 with a list of my favorite works that I had published this year. Enjoy!

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I don’t want to go to sleep.

I don’t want to go to sleep even though I need to. I don’t want to go to sleep even though I do, very much. I’m so tired. I don’t want to go to sleep even though I’m halfway there already–but I still don’t want to go to sleep because I don’t want to wake up to yet another morning without my littlest one’s sweet face looking sleepily up at my from the crook of my arm, my older daughter’s boisterous voice calling the rest of us out to come start the day, make some pancakes, pour some juice, look at the pretty dress she’s put on–something! I don’t want to fall asleep without being able to hear the quiet hymn of my daughters’ breathing, and I don’t want to wake up to another day empty of their chatter. I don’t want to go to sleep not a mother anymore and wake up not a mother still. I don’t want this anymore. What’s the safety word? Cacao? I want out. Please someone make this nightmare finally end. Give me back my little girls, don’t make me go to sleep without a kiss goodnight for mommy anymore.