How To Cope With Unhealthy People In Your Life + “My Fair Junkie” Winner!

Find out who won Amy Dresner's My Fair Junkie and then how to cope with unhealthy influences on bettysbattleground.com

Today I want to reblog my latest post on HealthyPlace about dealing with unhealthy people, and also talk about a couple other things.

We Have A Winner!

The first and most exciting matter today is that we have a winner for the FREE copy of “My Fair Junkie” by Amy Dresner that I offered you last week. If you missed the contest, you can still buy the book (hint: requesting books from libraries that don’t already have them helps writers too) or check out her exclusive must-read interview here.

So…the winner….(drumroll please)…is Linda Parker! Congratulations Linda, and thank you to everyone who entered. You are awesome. You should still go grab yourselves a copy of the book–I am not using any affiliate links programs anymore but there’s all sorts of places you can find it…just read it. For serious.

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The Light That Shines Through: A Post About Dissident Happiness

Read about the good days in a crappy year on bettysbattleground.com

I have not been very happy this past year. Just over a year ago, on an innocuous evening in June, someone knocked on my door while I was in the bathroom. My husband answered, and accepted a packet that an unfamiliar layman was delivering for me. My world changed while I was taking a piss.

The packet was a lawsuit; a motion for genetic testing to establish paternity. Had I answered the door, I would have been able to identify the layman who’d delivered it to my home address as the father of the man who physically and sexually abused me for four years when I was a teenager. The paternity suit in the packet was legitimate; my abuser fathered my eldest child, though he had been uninvolved in my son’s life for almost as long as my son had been alive.

The parentage suit, which was quickly followed by a custody suit, threw my world into a darkness almost as deep and suffocating as the four years of our relationship. I had to recount, and then defend, the worst instances of my abuse. My abuser submitted intimate letters and photographs, which he had apparently kept in his possession for ten years, with the seeming sole purpose of humiliating me. I was obsessively fearful for my son’s safety, especially because he is a non-verbal autistic. My PTSD was aggressively aggravated, and my lowest shames were paraded before my abuser for his amusement and use. On top of that, my beloved Abuelita (grandmother) had died just a month earlier, and I was struggling to recover from my PTSD related suicide attempt. The past year has been a hell.

But this isn’t a post about hell. This isn’t a post about the custody case. This post is about the little pricks of light that shone through the darkness of the past year, sometimes impossibly so; those fervent, stubborn moments of happiness and joy that kept me dragging onward through the fight. This is a post about happiness that chose to exist beyond all odds. Dissident happiness.

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Fiction Fridays: A Small But Necessary Adjustment

Fiction Fridays on www.bettysbattleground.com

Hi Lovelies!  It’s Friday!

It’s been a big week, both for me personally, and for the mental health community as a whole. You may heave heard that Amy Bleuel, founder of Project Semicolon, ended her life this week. That is pretty big news for a lot of people who saw Amy and her project as an icon of hope and healing. My new blogger friend Sheila, wrote a touching and enlightening piece about the event that I consider a must-read.

In my personal life this week I lost a friend who I had known since high school; a comrade in PTSD recovering who I thought would always be in my life. But for the fourth time this short year she did something which made me feel like an afterthought. In this case, she completely mismanaged a project of mine which she had volunteered to make huge (I had asked her help for something much smaller) and ultimately canceled the whole thing one and a half days before production, effectively destroying a creative project of mine for the second time this year. I realized that this person, who is a competent creative when she cares about the project, regularly schedules me in her life between other, more important meet-ups, and has displayed a pattern of being totally unprepared for projects of mine which she agreed or even volunteered to help with. So I told her that I could not have her in my life anymore. My life is hard as it is. My self esteem is a dark pit without my own friends showing me that I’m not important.

The day after my ruined project, a day which passed heavy with angry regret, I had to meet with a Family Court Services interviewer who grilled me about the dates and intimate details of the worst instances of my abuse. By the end of the interview, I was freezing cold and shaking. My PTSD was triggered so badly by all of this that I am still feeling the effects; I woke up crying from nightmares last night, which had not happened to me in years. I will write more about my hell week soon (make sure to subscribe if you just can’t miss all the terrible details); all this is to say that it has been a rough week.

So this week’s Fiction Fridays I slid a little and I hope you’ll understand. This piece is borrowed from the world of what was supposed to be a longer novella, though I never completed writing it.

I am also excited to announced the Fiction Fridays #3 winner!

In case you missed it, the prompt was to choose a favorite book, and then tackle a problem or issue from your life in the style of the book in 300-1,000 words.

Here’s the winning story:

Dasha Buchanon is the Fiction Fridays #3 Prompt Contest winner on www.bettysbattleground.com

 

 

Dasha Buchanan has been writing since she could read and hopes to become a published author someday. Check out her blog: DKB Writings

 

 

Book: Winnie The Pooh

Unresolved Issue: Growing up

My old desk which once held paint splatters and pretend tea cup saucers now is covered in the college pamphlets and brochures sent to me by the most kind college admissions hoping to scrounge my every last penny. It didn’t hit me till this year that my whole life was about to tilt a little more forwards and a little more topsy-turvy than I am used to. Senior year was supposed to be the grand party with the hot boyfriend and good GPA but instead is barely even a hangover with a nasty headache, and what GPA? It’s like I’m stumbling through every step of this life-changing journey when I should be leaping for joy. It’s not as black and white as we are taught from a young age. You don’t just graduate and move out. There is so much more and it involves mostly numbers. The amount of money you have will get lower and the amount of credits you need will continue to increases like the freaking fountain of youth and you will think about quitting at least once a week. No it didn’t hit me how effed up this year was till I was cleaning my out my closet. Under an old pillow there, laying in the dust, was my dear stuffed elephant Eeyore. I remember the day I got that toy I was so excited. I saved every dollar and waited till mom would drive me to the Disney store 20 miles away from home. (I’m still sour that they closed it) Eeyore was my bear hug when my best friend wasn’t with me, he was my tear sponge when I found out my parents were divorcing, he was my sense of home when we had to move, he was my grandpa’s memory when he passed because Eeyore was sad yet his friends accepted him. I feel a lot like Eeyore. Even today at 18 years of age I can relate to a cartoon. A stuffed animal. A piece of fabric and stuffing. After all the crap life has in it something so untouched by the cruelty of our world can simply exist. Now as I’m holding him I think to myself either I have some weird complex like Linus and his blanket or I am just not ready to keep going. I don’t want to leave Eeyore in the closet again for another ten years and then pass him along to my child or find him and remember all the sh*t that happened since the last time I found him. No. Today I want to pause. I want to just hug Eeyore and say that everything will be alright. I want to have a tea party in the hundred acre wood and finger paint my worries away. I want to be content with the simple things in life and I don’t want to leave him behind. Who knows maybe you’ll find me and Eeyore taking on the world one hug at a time.

 

There you have it! The winning entry! Thank you so much Dasha for sharing your wonderful story with us.

Keep reading to see what this week’s prompt is and how YOU can be featured right here on my front page…

Fiction Fridays #4 www.bettysbattleground.com
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