Tales From The Other Side: Letter To My Friend Who’s Coming To Terms With Her Abuse

Read a touching letter from one friend to another on bettysbattleground.com

Tales from the Other Side: A guest post series on www.bettysbattleground.comToday’s guest post speaks for itself, so I will keep the introduction short. This Valentine’s Day, let’s celebrate a different kind of relationship. Let’s celebrate those who have the power to leave romantic relationship that are harmful, and the friendships that keep us afloat. Last week, on my birthday, I had my share of friends keep me afloat; people without whom I would not be here today. Today, you can read a letter from a young woman who herself experienced abuse, written to her dear friend who recently ended an abusive relationship. This letter is written to one specific person–who is very lucky to have such a caring friend–but it also says many things that can apply to any survivor of abuse. If you or anyone you know has experienced abuse, please read this and share it.

 Read Kella's touching letter to her friend on bettysbattleground.comKella Hanna-Wayne is the creator and writer for, Yopp!: a social justice blog that connects education, critiques, calls to action, and personal stories into one resource to lift up marginalized people and educate non-marginalized people on how to help them. For fun, Kella organizes and DJ’s at an Argentine tango dancing event in her hometown of Eugene, Oregon, bakes gluten-free masterpieces, sings loudly along with pop music, and makes cat noises. You can find her on facebook, twitter, or Instagram.

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Tales From The Other Side: #MeToo Is For Women

Find out why a male sexual assault survivor doesn't think men should be involved in #metoo

Tales from the Other Side: A guest post series on www.bettysbattleground.comToday’s post is a different type of “Tales From the Other Side” post than usual, because it’s written from the perspective of a sexual assault survivor about his experiences as a sexual assault survivor. This series usually focuses on those who “live, love, and work with the mentally ill.” But I publishing this post under the series because it comes from a male sexual assault survivor who says #metoo is for women.

I wrote my own post last year about how #metoo is for men and not for men, and if you read the comments, it garnered some controversy. Today’s post is considerably shorter than the guest posts I typically publish (1000 word minimum for anyone interested) but I accepted it as is because it provides an important and thorough perspective that honestly doesn’t need those extra words. I watched Chris on his journey to this conclusion–he put a lot of thought into crafting these words. I hope you’ll put as much thought into reading them.

I’m especially excited to post this today of all days because it is my daughter’s fourth birthday. It’s also the day when my slumlord gave us notice of a rental raise despite several unresolved housing code violations in our building, and when I confronted the managed of my building to assert my rights he got in my face, yelled at me to “stop bitching,” then pointed over a five foot balcony–that I highly doubt meet safety code, and told me to “get the fuck out of here;” mind you, within centimeters of my body. My apartment building manager. And the police did nothing. If the little girls of this world are going to grow up into women who feel safe in their bodies and homes, then we need more men like Chris Dantes to step up, recognize the problem, and speak out–so that men like David Neyhart (building owner), Chester (manager who intimidated me), and all the Weinsteins of the world learn that it is they, not us, who need to shut up and get the fuck out of here. Happy birthday Anabelle. Mama is loud for you honey, no matter what man hates it, and she’s not going to stop. I love you.

Read why male sexual assault survivor Chris Dantes believes #metoo should be reserved for women only on bettysbattleground.comChris Dantes is a full-time writer who has tutored high school and college students for eleven years. His work focuses on social issues, including sexual abuse and mental health awareness through essays, research articles, and fiction. He earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in English – Creative Writing from the University of South Florida.Dantes and his wife co-founded Bum Dogs Media in 2018, which focuses on spreading sexual abuse and mental health awareness through writing, instructional videos, podcasts, and speaking appearances. You can follow him on Twitter @realchrisdantes and on FacebookAlso, you can support him by subscribing to his Patreon account at patreon.com/fearnoscar

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Tales From The Other Side: Self-Care While Dating A Sexual Assault Survivor

August Pfizenmayer comes on bettysbattleground.com to discuss self-care while dating a male sexual assault survivor

Tales from the Other Side: A guest post series on www.bettysbattleground.comToday’s guest writer, August Pfizenmayer, appeared on this blog in the past–she wrote a post about her experience of being diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder while her partner at the time was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. If you haven’t read “A Neurochemical Romance,” yet, I urge you to do so. It is beautifully written, candid, and an extremely important contribution to the mental illness discussion.

Today, August returns during Sexual Assault Awareness Month on Betty’s Battleground to discuss a different aspect of being in a relationship with someone who has PTSD from sexual assault. That relationship has now ended (amicably, I’m  told), and she is here to talk about some of the difficulties she experienced dating a male survivor of sexual assault, and how to overcome them.

If you follow my blog, you know that I enjoy posting perspectives that differ from mine. Which is not to say August’s differs wholly from mine–I’m actually planning to write another post with a similar general theme myself. But one thing I feel I should note is that I have a slightly different perspective (not just from August, but from many people) about our responsibility to the people we love who have mental illnesses.

While I agree that having a mental illness does not give you a free pass to act like an ass, I don’t think we have an inherent right to walk away from people because they are struggling, or because we find their symptoms difficult. I do think we have a right to walk away if someone is abusive, and serial cheating counts–as do other emotionally and physically abusive behaviors. But I wanted to note that I don’t fully agree with some of the statements she makes in this piece, though I do value her opinion and agree with much of it–and certainly believe she has a right to share it.

August Pfizenmayer is the founder of Survival is a Talent. She is a freelance writer, blogger, and social media manager. A story about her life with schizophrenia has been published in the next volume of The i’Mpossible Project. It is available for pre-order and will be in stores November 2017. You can connect with her on LinkedInTwitterInstagramFacebook, and her personal blog.

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