Healing Words: The Effects Of Rape Can Last A Lifetime

Justin discusses surviving male on male rape on bettysbattleground.com

A guest writer series about the ways we heal-on bettysbattleground.comToday’s guest post describes the experience of a survivor of male-on-male rape, which has not yet been discussed here on Betty’s Battleground. As last week’s Tales From the Other Side guest post pointed out, some people just do not believe that male rape can happen or that it doesn’t matter. But it can. It does. And it’s not okay.

In this incredibly candid post, Justin describes how he began to allow himself to recognize that the rape occurred. This isn’t a “Healing Words” article like others in the past.There won’t be a neat “how-to heal” section; instead we get insight to the acute recovery from rape. The ways in which the human mind adjusts and begins to heal from the idea of having been raped–which is not something that is given enough attention.

This post opened my eyes a lot. It has touched on some topics I need to focus on more as well. I am extremely proud of Justin for his candor, and to have the honor of publishing his eye-opening piece on my blog.

Justin is a rape survivor on bettysbattleground.comJustin Coleman is a student. He loves books and board games. His interests are maps, politics, elections, Latin America, Greece, feminism, the environment, PredictIt, Paradox games, soccer, and music you probably haven’t heard of. He has been journaling for over a decade to process the intense emotions and mood swings of his bipolar disorder. You can connect with Justin on FacebookTwitter, and LinkedIn.

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Tales From The Other Side: Self-Care While Dating A Sexual Assault Survivor

 

Tales from the Other Side: A guest post series on www.bettysbattleground.comToday’s guest writer, August Blair, appeared on this blog in the past–she wrote a post about her experience of being diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder while her partner at the time was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. If you haven’t read “A Neurochemical Romance,” yet, I urge you to do so. It is beautifully written, candid, and an extremely important contribution to the mental illness discussion.

Today, August returns during Sexual Assault Awareness Month on Betty’s Battleground to discuss a different aspect of being in a relationship with someone who has PTSD from sexual assault. That relationship has now ended (amicably, I’m  told), and she is here to talk about some of the difficulties she experienced dating a male survivor of sexual assault, and how to overcome them.

If you follow my blog, you know that I enjoy posting perspectives that differ from mine. Which is not to say August’s differs wholly from mine–I’m actually planning to write another post with a similar general theme myself. But one thing I feel I should note is that I have a slightly different perspective (not just from August, but from many people) about our responsibility to the people we love who have mental illnesses.

While I agree that having a mental illness does not give you a free pass to act like an ass, I don’t think we have an inherent right to walk away from people because they are struggling, or because we find their symptoms difficult. I do think we have a right to walk away if someone is abusive, and serial cheating counts–as do other emotionally and physically abusive behaviors. But I wanted to note that I don’t fully agree with some of the statements she makes in this piece, though I do value her opinion and agree with much of it–and certainly believe she has a right to share it.

August Blair is the founder of Survival is a Talent. She is a freelance writer, blogger, and social media manager. A story about her life with schizophrenia has been published in the next volume of The i’Mpossible Project. It is available for pre-order and will be in stores November 2017. You can connect with her on LinkedInTwitterInstagramFacebook, and her personal blog.

August Blair guest writes for bettysbattleground.com

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How I’ve Been Dealing With PTSD When My Supports Failed

Find out what happens to someone with PTSD when all supports fail-on bettysbattleground.com

Feelings of worthlessness. Social anxiety. Telephonophobia. A sense of foreshortened life. Cherophobia. Agoraphobia. Nightmares that feel like a portal to hell. Physical numbing. Emotional numbing. Suicidal ideation. Suicidal intent. Low self-esteem. Poor sense of danger. Hypervigilance. Rage. Body aches. Depression. Fatigue. Susceptibility to chemical dependency and addiction. Inability to trust others. Inability to show affection. Inability to receive affection. Extreme isolation. Hallucinations. Fear for loved ones. Tendency to push loved ones away. Expectations of loss. Expectations of harm. Self-harm. Derealization. Depersonalization. Personality dissociation. Flashbacks. Panic attacks. Generalized anxiety. Aggression. Inability to work. Obsession with loss. Fear.

These are just some of the symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. While not everyone lives with all of these symptoms, many of us live with a lot of them. If you don’t have PTSD, imagine living with just one or two, all the time. Those of us living in the aftermath of trauma have to battle debilitating symptoms on a constant basis. It can’t easily be done alone. We rely on our supports to function. So what happens when all of our supports–or even just a great majority of our supports–fail to come through? That is what has happened to me this past month, so I’m at a great vantage point to talk about it.

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