Book Review + EXCLUSIVE Author Interview “My Fair Junkie” by Amy Dresner

 

Exclusive (and frank) author interview with Amy Dresner

Today I am beyond thrilled to provide you a review of the novel My Fair Junkie, written by Amy Dresner–who writes for many of the same sites I do (and more) but has been doing so for a lot longer–followed by an exclusive interview and then (yep, there’s more!) a chance to win a free copy of this honest and revealing book about addiction, mental illness, and recovery. I know I missed a week of posting. I hope this incredibly cool interview and contest makes up for it.

Exclusive Amy Dresner interview on bettysbattleground.comAmy Dresner is a former professional comic and everything-fiend. She’s been a writer for theFix.com since 2012. She’s also written for The Frisky, Refinery 29, Salon, Addiction.com and Daily Tonic/Vice. “My Fair Junkie: A memoir of getting dirty and staying clean” published by Hachette in September 2017 is her first book. Find her on Twitter: @amydresner, Instagram: @amydresner, and Facebook: @amydresnerofficial

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The Big Question: Why Did You Stay?

The Big Question: Why Did You Stay? A question which should never be asked of DV survivors, and question which is all too often asked of DV survivors. Answered. www.bettysbattleground.com
The Big Question.

The question everybody wants to ask survivors of long-term domestic violence. The question nobody should ever ask a survivor of domestic violence: Why did you stay?

Why
Did
You
Stay?

Look, I get it. If you’ve never experienced relationship violence, it doesn’t seem to make sense that a person would stay in an abusive relationship. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, however, more than 75% of women between the ages of 18 and 49 are abused by the same partner more than once. That means that the majority of women who have been assaulted by their lover, return to their lover. So it can’t just be that we are all pathetic, liars, or masochistic.  There has to be something more.

Which has actually been recognized among the psychological community for years. Yet despite the abundance of information now available to the public about this subject, the question still gets asked. All the time. And it shouldn’t be. It is a really hurtful question to ask a survivor of domestic violence. Even when your intentions are based out of genuine concern and curiosity, and even when you are a beloved confidant, “why did you stay?” sounds to us like “it’s your fault that you were abused.” We already have to battle the shame that comes with feeling like our abuse was our fault. We don’t need anybody reinforcing it, however unintentionally.

So I am going to now answer The Big Question: Why Did You Stay?
I am not a psychological expert. I don’t claim to have professional expertise about the complex emotional and psychological factors with which all DV victims contend. If what you’re seeking is an expert opinion, I recommend visiting one of the sites I linked in the paragraph above, or reading one of the resources I link in the Amazon banner at the end of this post.

What I can offer is first-hand, honest testimony and an answer the question as it applies to my life.  Why did I stay? Which seems to be what a lot of people want to hear judging by how often this question is asked of me.

If you have ever felt compelled to ask me or another survivor the question “Why did you stay,” please, continue reading. And then, when you’re finished, don’t ever ask a survivor this question again.

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