My Life Is Falling Apart And It’s Not My Fault

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Part of living with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)–at least for me–is kind of thinking everything is completely my fault, even when I insist outwardly that it’s not. Some of that comes from stigma. I may know I’m in the right, but when people who know I have PTSD treat me like I’m wrong just because I have PTSD, it’s hard not to internalize that.

But this time, it’s actually, undeniably not my fault.

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Tales From The Other Side: #MeToo Is For Women

Find out why a male sexual assault survivor doesn't think men should be involved in #metoo

Tales from the Other Side: A guest post series on www.bettysbattleground.comToday’s post is a different type of “Tales From the Other Side” post than usual, because it’s written from the perspective of a sexual assault survivor about his experiences as a sexual assault survivor. This series usually focuses on those who “live, love, and work with the mentally ill.” But I publishing this post under the series because it comes from a male sexual assault survivor who says #metoo is for women.

I wrote my own post last year about how #metoo is for men and not for men, and if you read the comments, it garnered some controversy. Today’s post is considerably shorter than the guest posts I typically publish (1000 word minimum for anyone interested) but I accepted it as is because it provides an important and thorough perspective that honestly doesn’t need those extra words. I watched Chris on his journey to this conclusion–he put a lot of thought into crafting these words. I hope you’ll put as much thought into reading them.

I’m especially excited to post this today of all days because it is my daughter’s fourth birthday. It’s also the day when my slumlord gave us notice of a rental raise despite several unresolved housing code violations in our building, and when I confronted the managed of my building to assert my rights he got in my face, yelled at me to “stop bitching,” then pointed over a five foot balcony–that I highly doubt meet safety code, and told me to “get the fuck out of here;” mind you, within centimeters of my body. My apartment building manager. And the police did nothing. If the little girls of this world are going to grow up into women who feel safe in their bodies and homes, then we need more men like Chris Dantes to step up, recognize the problem, and speak out–so that men like David Neyhart (building owner), Chester (manager who intimidated me), and all the Weinsteins of the world learn that it is they, not us, who need to shut up and get the fuck out of here. Happy birthday Anabelle. Mama is loud for you honey, no matter what man hates it, and she’s not going to stop. I love you.

Read why male sexual assault survivor Chris Dantes believes #metoo should be reserved for women only on bettysbattleground.comChris Dantes is a full-time writer who has tutored high school and college students for eleven years. His work focuses on social issues, including sexual abuse and mental health awareness through essays, research articles, and fiction. He earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in English – Creative Writing from the University of South Florida.Dantes and his wife co-founded Bum Dogs Media in 2018, which focuses on spreading sexual abuse and mental health awareness through writing, instructional videos, podcasts, and speaking appearances. You can follow him on Twitter @realchrisdantes and on FacebookAlso, you can support him by subscribing to his Patreon account at patreon.com/fearnoscar

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(Reblog) Does Sexual Harassment Affect Rape Survivors?

Learn more about sexual harassment and PTSD

The #MeToo hashtag campaign has exposed the fact that sexual violence is a significant event in the lives of most women. One of the most common forms of this violence is sexual harassment. A few examples of sexual harassment are catcalling, suggestive comments at school or work, and unwanted sexual advances. Many women have experienced at least one instance of everyday sexual harassment.

But one in five women will also experience a major act of sexual violence, like rape. Many of those women will also develop posttraumatic stress disorder. This means that female survivors of rape and other major acts of sexual violence are forced to experience comparatively milder forms of sexual harassment before and after the major trauma. Can the prevalence of PTSD among female sexual assault survivors be related to the commonality of sexual harassment?

Read the rest of my article about sexual harassment and PTSD on HealthyPlace