Rebuilding My Life From The Rubble Of Familial Abuse

https://whizolosophy.com/category/human-nature/article-poetry/penelope

Right off the bat: will you take a moment to click vote 10 times for my poem and essay in a contest?

Now, here’s the story…

Earlier this year I asked for your help. I asked you to donate so that┬ámy family could pay off our last month of rent in Seattle, and get to Florida in order to stay with my husband’s parents. If you follow my blog, you probably know my relationship with my in-laws has a…history. One that, looking back through the lens of the past few months, very much resembles the abuse cycle typically associated with intimate partner violence. There would be periods of unexpected, unwarranted gifts, intense generosity, and inclusion in family dinners and outings. Always followed by the inevitable gutpunch. Demands that I leave their home. Below-the-belt insults that prey on the vulnerabilities I was naive enough to express during times of peace. Shouting fits that ignored my children crying in the same room. Cruel gossip tearing me down to every other member of the family, ensuring that if my in-laws don’t like me, no one else will either. It was because of this that I wrote shortly after arriving, “I don’t know what the future will hold, but for now I’m going swimming.” Continue reading

My Life Is Falling Apart And It’s Not My Fault

If you’re looking for a picture, click here instead.

Part of living with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)–at least for me–is kind of thinking everything is completely my fault, even when I insist outwardly that it’s not. Some of that comes from stigma. I may know I’m in the right, but when people who know I have PTSD treat me like I’m wrong just because I have PTSD, it’s hard not to internalize that.

But this time, it’s actually, undeniably not my fault.

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Mental Health Heathers, Family Members, And Me

eb-writes.com

If you’d rather see my professional work rather than my angsty depressive rantings, check out my new author page eb-writes.com

This is a post about me. Because right now, I need to talk about me, and I need to feel like someone’s listening–even if they’re not. This is a post that is just about me…it won’t also turn into a post about someone else who went through it too, or someone else who’s going through it worse now. I’m not going to talk about the ways this could apply to you. If you do relate, that’s great (or maybe not so great). But today, right now, I just need to talk about me. Because I’m not doing okay.

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