Tales From The Other Side: #MeToo Is For Women

Find out why a male sexual assault survivor doesn't think men should be involved in #metoo

Tales from the Other Side: A guest post series on www.bettysbattleground.comToday’s post is a different type of “Tales From the Other Side” post than usual, because it’s written from the perspective of a sexual assault survivor about his experiences as a sexual assault survivor. This series usually focuses on those who “live, love, and work with the mentally ill.” But I publishing this post under the series because it comes from a male sexual assault survivor who says #metoo is for women.

I wrote my own post last year about how #metoo is for men and not for men, and if you read the comments, it garnered some controversy. Today’s post is considerably shorter than the guest posts I typically publish (1000 word minimum for anyone interested) but I accepted it as is because it provides an important and thorough perspective that honestly doesn’t need those extra words. I watched Chris on his journey to this conclusion–he put a lot of thought into crafting these words. I hope you’ll put as much thought into reading them.

I’m especially excited to post this today of all days because it is my daughter’s fourth birthday. It’s also the day when my slumlord gave us notice of a rental raise despite several unresolved housing code violations in our building, and when I confronted the managed of my building to assert my rights he got in my face, yelled at me to “stop bitching,” then pointed over a five foot balcony–that I highly doubt meet safety code, and told me to “get the fuck out of here;” mind you, within centimeters of my body. My apartment building manager. And the police did nothing. If the little girls of this world are going to grow up into women who feel safe in their bodies and homes, then we need more men like Chris Dantes to step up, recognize the problem, and speak out–so that men like David Neyhart (building owner), Chester (manager who intimidated me), and all the Weinsteins of the world learn that it is they, not us, who need to shut up and get the fuck out of here. Happy birthday Anabelle. Mama is loud for you honey, no matter what man hates it, and she’s not going to stop. I love you.

Read why male sexual assault survivor Chris Dantes believes #metoo should be reserved for women only on bettysbattleground.comChris Dantes is a full-time writer who has tutored high school and college students for eleven years. His work focuses on social issues, including sexual abuse and mental health awareness through essays, research articles, and fiction. He earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in English – Creative Writing from the University of South Florida.Dantes and his wife co-founded Bum Dogs Media in 2018, which focuses on spreading sexual abuse and mental health awareness through writing, instructional videos, podcasts, and speaking appearances. You can follow him on Twitter @realchrisdantes and on FacebookAlso, you can support him by subscribing to his Patreon account at patreon.com/fearnoscar

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Healing Words: Surviving My “Evil Stepmother”

Read about Ana's experiences growing in an abusive household on bettysbattleground.com

A guest writer series about the ways we heal-on bettysbattleground.comHello, happy Friday!

As I promised earlier this week, I have a very special guest post from one of my favorite bloggers, Ana De-Jesus. Ana’s blog is Faded Spring, where she melds her fashion blogging and modeling with feminism, trauma narratives, and other socially conscious issues. It’s wonderful! Hop on over and take a look when you’re done here.

Ana’s story is difficult to read. We don’t like to hear about children experiencing abuse and neglect. In some ways, it becomes even more difficult to learn it’s at the hands of a stepmother or stepfather, because this is a person who was welcomed into the family and instead chose to tear it apart. Even though it’s a hard read, I ask you to read through to the end. Too often we hear the fairy-tales about the beautiful princess and the evil stepmother. We brush that early plight aside as a necessary part of the princess’ story, and we watch her move forward into a romantic happily-ever-after. The true story is far more nuanced. Ana survived her own version of the “evil stepmother,” and she certainly fits the mold of a beautiful ingenue, but she is also now living with aftermath that involves mental illness, continued strife, and deep strength and courage.

Read my half of the guest post exchange here.

Learn about Ana's experiences growing up with an abusive stepmother on bettysbattleground.comAna De-Jesus is a Multi Award Winning Blogger with a BA in English Literature, English Language and Education and Social Sciences. Her Blog Faded Spring celebrated its two year anniversary in August and after working in marketing and promotions, she now blogs full time, alongside running two successful social media groups for bloggers. Ana’s blog has been nominated for a total of 7 awards and was ranked by Feedspot as 33rd in the Top 50 Best Blogs and Websites in the UK. She is also a Freelance Journalist and has an extensive writing portfolio covering media outlets like magazines, websites, newspapers and more. Ana’s blog has enabled her to collaborate with huge brands like Public Desire, Pretty Little Thing and River Island and she is passionate about having frank and open discussions centered on mental health, abuse, bullying, sex and dating. When she isn’t blogging, Ana can be found reading historical fiction, watching Rick and Morty and hanging out with friends.

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Healing Words: An Author’s Search For Trauma Recovery Through Writing

Brandi Kennedy talks about how writing and mindfulness has helped her recover from chronic abuse on bettysbattleground.com

A guest writer series about the ways we heal-on bettysbattleground.comHey readers, I apologize for missing my Wednesday post this week, but I’d like to call your attention to the article I was busy working on instead.

When I was pregnant and on methadone, I was caught in the Front Range Flood. Well, not caught in it per se, I was just outside of it, but my clinic closed and I couldn’t get to the one that was designated to courtesy dose us. You can read more about it in the article, but it is truly horrifying how unprepared many methadone facilities are for ensuring continuity of care. Unprepared is not even the right word; there are actually plenty of protocols in place, as I learned while researching this piece, but many programs and hospitals choose to turn patients away. It’s unfair, and unconscionable. Imagine going through the worst disaster of your life, and also being in intense opiate withdrawal? You can read it here.

Let’s also remember that while all of this has been going on, massive flooding has been destroying parts of Southeast Asia. More than 1,000 people have died, far higher than the death toll from Harvey.They deserve our care and attention too.

I’m glad that my blog is equipped to have outbound links open in separate windows, because I also don’t want you to miss this guest post from Author Brandi Kennedy. She’s a fiction writer and a poet besides a blogger, and it shows in the beauty of her narration, but the subject is deeply troubling. Despite my own traumatic experiences, I never cease to be shocked by the capacity for pain and cruelty this world holds. I’m glad the assignment I’m writing this weekend focuses on human kindness instead, but for now..let’s read Brandi’s story of recovery through writing and mindfulness.

Author Brandi KennedyRead about Brandi Kennedy's healing through writing on bettysbattleground.com was a survivor before she knew she was a warrior. Through her love of reading, she found temporary escape from the abuse that was an ever-present part of her childhood; through writing, she’s found healing and renewed life. These days, Brandi is a romance novelist and mental health and lifestyle blogger who spends her moments writing her way toward her dreams. Through self-expression, the courage to share honestly, and the desire to weave words into the very magic she once used as escape, Brandi is learning to embrace life as an Undaunted Woman – and hoping to welcome others along on the ride. Read her full bio here.

 

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