Crazy-Sitting And Thoughts Of Suicide

I am feeling suicidal and I need people with me

Thoughts of suicide are common in people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and other mental illnesses, or who are going through hardship in life. Although suicidal ideations are fairly common, they do not in and of themselves indicate that a person will actually commit suicide. That does not, however, mean they should be ignored. Even if a person is claiming thoughts of suicide “just to get attention,” those claims should always be listened to and responded to with compassion, care, and support–preferably in-person support. Ignoring suicidal “cries for attention” can lead to actual suicide.Responding can be as simple as sitting in a room with the person, holding them, sleeping near them, or giving them a hug. If you can’t be physically with them, phone calls or texts are the next best solution. But this is in response to suicidal feelings and ideations. If someone is truly suicidal, then being left alone is never an appropriate response (unless, of course, you hope for that person to die–let’s hope there’s nobody out there whose friends and family actually want them to die).

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Do My Near-Death Experiences Prove Immortality?

Find out if humans are naturally immortal on bettysbattleground.com

Are humans immortal? Am I? These are the questions that land people like me in psych wards. Yet also the exact questions being posited by ‘biocentrism‘ researchers like Dr. Robert Lanza. And, according to some of his ideas, maybe even Einstein.

Well, there ya go. Einstein’s dead so there goes that theory! Or is he? No, I’m not going on a paranoid conspiracy theory rant. Nor am I speaking about immortality in the way we usually think about it…you know, a power hungry psuedo-deity with magical regenerative powers who is deathless and aware of it. Maybe that exists somewhere, but I’m not there yet. Right now, this is just an idea.

I’ve overdosed on heroin nine times. Some of those times, I was revived in everyday ways that medical personnel perform around the world constantly. Other times, I was alone, or with someone else who was passed out. People wake up from these things. It happens. It happened to me. It’s not necessarily a miracle. But the sheer number of times I have survived these near-death experiences is staggering. It’s not just the overdoses; I was also strangled by my ex to the point of seizure on numerous occasions. When you’re seizing from asphyxiation, you’re pretty damn close to dying. In fact, the first time he did it, I woke up to find him hovering over me asking if he had killed me.

I have lost count of how many times I have come close to dying, but I know one thing. I’m not dead. But what if I am? What if I did die, in another dimension…and my consciousness, the “light” through which I see, simply merged with another consciousness in this infinite universe that contains the me that survived. What if I am immortal? What if you are too?

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Tales From the Other Side: “My Letter to My Sister After Her Suicide”

Tales from the Other Side: A guest post series on www.bettysbattleground.com

“My Letter to My Sister After Her Suicide” is the first installation of my Guest Post Series: Tales From the Other Side

If you have been following my blog, you know that I write about my experiences as a mother who lives with mental illness, specifically; PTSD and (recovering) co-morbid substance addiction as the result of surviving severe, prolonged domestic abuse. There is a lot of stigma around mental illness, addiction, and abuse. I think it is important that those of us who have lived or are living with these conditions speak out so that the world can see what we go through, and also that we are human. Relatable, real, maybe even (gasp) likable humans.

We are not the only ones affected by our conditions, however. The people who live with us, love us, work with us, and know us are also affected, often deeply. Last week I wrote about my recent(ish) suicide attempt.  I shared the letter I didn’t write, but would have written if I had been able to communicate my thoughts and feelings at the time.  This week, I want to share with you the letter written by one woman to her sister whose suicide attempt was successful.

This letter is raw, heartwrenching, and even funny at times. It is, ultimately, honest. I am so honored to be able to share it here.

Another issue that the letter briefly mentions is possible witnessed PTSD; sometimes the people who come in contact with our conditions inherit similar conditions themselves. Witnessed PTSD is less understood than experienced PTSD, but it is the same disorder as mine except that it arises from witnessing a traumatic event, rather than directly experiencing it.

One last thing I would like to say before I share the letter and some details about its author: I have been suicidal. I know that feeling worthless and unloved comes hand-in-hand with wanting to die. And now, having lived through it, I also know that the feeling is a delusion. You don’t have to be popular and constantly surrounded by people to be loved. If you are feeling suicidal, please just know, just believe that there is someone out there who will write a letter like this to you if you leave them. Chances are, you even know who that person is. Chances are, you love them too. Please think, truly think, about the real consequences of your decision before you make it.
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