Tales From The Other Side: The Problem With Saying “I’m Sorry”

Problems with saying I'm sorry--on bettysbattleground.com

I’m sorry!

Wait. What am I apologizing for? Existing? Having needs? What?!

Does that sound familiar to you? It sure does to me. If you have issues with saying “I’m sorry” too much (or not enough), you’ll be really interested in this guest post from Bryan Bushman, a clinical psychologist and blogger who wants to help you figure out the right time and way to say “sorry.”

The Problem with Saying "I'm Sorry" --bettysbattleground.comBryan Bushman, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist who has been working with trauma survivors for 10 years.  He is the author of Becoming Okay (When You’re Not Okay) and more of his writings can be found on www.drbryanbushman.com or http://findingyourway2okay.wordpress.com.

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How To Help A Loved One Who Has Been Raped

Learn about the aftermath of rape on bettysbattleground.com

The first time I was a victim of rape, I didn’t immediately realize I had been raped. I was sixteen, a virgin, and in love. I had no idea that I was still just a child, or that my boyfriend, a man seven years my senior, had been grooming me since I was fourteen years old. Or that he was also doing it to another girl, only thirteen.  Later in our relationship, he would rape me in much more obvious ways; under knife point or threat of violence. But that very first time, on a quiet day in June, I thought it was love. It didn’t matter that it was hurried and painful, or that he seemed to lose interest in me just moments later. It didn’t matter that we were in a cluttered garage, or that a thirteen year old homeless girl would soon rap the door demanding to see him. I thought it was sex, I thought he loved me, and I thought everything was okay.

Rape changed me. There’s no way to fully describe this change without experiencing it. I hope it’s something you, dear reader, never understand. But if you already do, if you’ve been raped, then you know what I mean. No matter how young or old you are, it ruins a place of sacred innocence within you. It exposes you.

This month, November, I am dedicating my blog to rape awareness.

We will be hearing from people who have been raped, and from their loved ones, about how the experience has affected them. If you’re interested in being included in this series, there are still a couple spots available; please see my guest post info page for more details and then shoot me an e-mail.

This first post describes how surviving rape has affected my mental health, followed by ways you can help someone in your life if you learn he or she has been raped. Please note that I have chosen to use she/her pronouns to reflect my own experience and also the fact that more women than men are raped; however, please understand that I believe male and gender-fluid rape victims absolutely deserve the same level of care, and that these tips apply across gender.

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Tales From The Other Side: How To Literally Sleep Away Your Trauma

How To Literally Sleep Away Your Trauma on bettysbattleground.com

Tales from the Other Side: A guest post series on www.bettysbattleground.comHappy Monday! Did you sleep well last night? If the answer is no, you’re not alone. The Center for Disease Control estimates that over 35% of Americans do not get the recommended amount of sleep. Look at the PTSD population, and that percentage rises much closer to 100%. I’m sure the same is true for the parent population. It’s certainly true for me.

Whether I’m soothing restless toddlers, struggling with anxiety, or combating PTSD nightmares, I rarely get a good night’s rest. So I really appreciate today’s guest post. Agnes Green, a sleep researcher from Tuck sleep (which is linked in my Resources page) describes how sleep disruptions can arise after trauma, and what we can do to help ease them. This is a topic I could certainly use my fair share of help with, and if you have PTSD, are a parent, or both, I’m sure you can too.

Before I direct you to the post, I want to remind you that Off-Fridays, THE Mental Illness Blog Share is open for links on the subject of addiction. I know it’s scary to discuss, but there are a lot of major problems in the recovery industry, not to mention the generally terrible attitude toward addicts. We won’t change those realities unless we talk about those realities, so I urge you to join in the link-up by adding your links. Help make this a truly revolutionary addiction-fighting resource!

And now, let’s meet the lovely Agnes.

Learn what sleep researcher Agnes Green has to say about trauma and sleep on bettysbattleground.comAgnes Green is a researcher for the sleep science site Tuck Sleep. She holds two master’s degrees in the social sciences from the University of Chicago and Northwestern University. She sleeps most soundly after a kettlebell workout, with breeze wafting in through a cracked window, and on a medium-firm mattress in Portland, Oregon.

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